Since your beloved baby came into your life, you've experienced endless moments of bountiful love you've never before felt so deep and true. Days are brighter, life is fuller, love is boundless. You couldn't be more grateful for all he/she has brought into your life.
Let's be just a little more honest. There's also at least one other amazing thing about Mommyhood. It's rarely publicly discussed, (or, admitted to, might be the more appropriate phrasing) but it's real, it's happening, and you've been thankful for it more than once.
Suddenly, you have the quintessential, unquestionable, debate-proof, ultimate, get-out-of-jail-free, trump card. You can now tactfully maneuver yourself out of pretty much any social situation that you'd prefer not engage in, without blowback. Your tot can be your excuse anytime~ or, potentially, every time~ you need it.
Party invite you wish to decline? Visitor who seems to never want to leave? Pushy would-be houseguest you need to dodge? "Oh, so sorry it won't work out this time, but Tot is ______." Insert your excuse of choice into blank space: teething, not feeling well, needs to nap, it's almost bedtime, needs to eat, too clingy to be left alone, can't have overnight guests, because it'll disrupt tot's sleep schedule, etc. Just be sure to make some kind of note of what reason you've given, because while you should rotate these excuses at will, with frequency, you also want to make sure you have a variety in play that you aren't repeating enough to arouse suspicion.
Need to arrive late or leave early, or, both? Tot is good for that, too! Refer to aforementioned excuses above or feel free to cultivate your own! Be free! Express your creativity! Let your imagination run wild! ;)
You're either giggling or scoffing at this point. The gigglers, you know the real deal and you're self-assured enough to admit to it. This is some handy bonus we've stumbled upon in our Mommyhood, and we're not going to let it pass without some proper usage.
The scoffers, you're simply not remembering accurately, and that's fair. Think about it for a few moments and you'll likely recall that you have used your tot as an excuse one time or another. Even in the smallest of tot fibs, you've still benefited. There's no reason to feel ashamed. You're not alone!
It's all part of the baby benefits package. We should absolutely take advantage of this rare, fleeting opportunity whilst we're still able. All is fair in love and Mommyhood, after all.
That said, I'll completely understand if you never even read this far along in this entry, because your tot just needed your attention riiiight away. I wholly, thoroughly, totally GET IT. ;)